Proverbs 18:9-14 - How to be winsome in life

How to be a winsome person? What sort of qualities we need to cultivate in life that will make us people whom others will be attracted to? Proverbs 18:9-14 give us at least five traits that will help us win the friendship of others.

Verse 8 is a call to us to be a hardworking people. Putting the verse in a negative way, we are told that “He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.” Clearly, this verse is referring to a person who does not show diligence in his work. Such a person will not think that work in life is necessary so he fails to see the satisfaction and discipline work can bring to one’s life. He is lumped with people who destroy their property by not taking care of it. Like it or not, when we neglect our duties, we have set in motion the forces of destruction.

In verses 10-11, the author advocates that we should put our trust in the LORD.  This word LORD is translated from the word Yahweh, the covenant name of God. It is the name God revealed to Moses for Who He truly is. He is the God of all grace, who possesses all power and strength within Himself. He is the only one whose existence is not dependent on anyone outside of Himself. And when we seek refuge in Him we are safe. Dangers cannot threaten us when He becomes our shelter in life. He is our fortress in times of trouble. Some people make wealth their fortress and seek protection from it. They are deluded. Wealth cannot insulate us from dangers. It is foolish to think that with wealth we can avoid dangers. The truth is this: only our LORD can keep us protected. He is the only strong tower and fortress that we can have total protection.  

Verse 12 calls for humility in life. He is one who shows himself humble at heart. The proud will position himself to fall. By being haughty and prideful, he would be self- conceited and would separate himself from others. By doing a solo flight, he has none in his life to help him, hence, he will fail miserably.

Verse 13 advises us to speak judiciously. We must first seek to understand before we seek to be understood. It is utter foolishness to speak before one understands what the other party is saying. When we don’t understand a situation and hastily give a response, we may be giving advises that are counter-productive.  So, we need to learn to speak with care.

Verse 14 is a call to exercise endurance and patience. When we have resilience, we can bear up with a prolonged negative condition. We look beyond the existing circumstances and focus on the outcome. But when we lose heart, we will get discouraged easily. It will further weaken our resolve. We must be sure not to wound the spirit of another. When we do we will weaken his resolve. With medication, physical wound can be dealt with. But a wounded spirit may be irreversible.

So, let’s remember to put these five things in our heart and seek to make them our lifestyle. They will make us more winsome to others.