Proverbs 18:1-8 – Speech patterns to avoid

It is said that “A wiseman speaks because they have something to say, but a fool speaks because he has to say something.” Our speech in life can advance a cause or destroy a relationship. When we are careful and thoughtful in conversation, we build and deepen friendship. Many friends are separated because of careless and thoughtless conversations. Proverbs 18:1-8 show us several speech patterns we should avoid so that our friendship with others will not be destroyed.

Verses 1-2 deal with condescending speech. In these two verses we are introduced to a self-will, conceited and highly opiniated person. He is not open to the suggestions of others but will instead go against sound wisdom. Such a person will only entertain his own ideas and illusions. He is likened to a fool and is uninterested in the wisdom of others. He will undiscerningly and carelessly speak his mind, though they are like a nothing burger.

Verse 3 describes another pattern of speech we should avoid. It is scornful speech. A person who engages in scornful speech is wicked and is disrespectful of others. Such a person shows no honour for what is pure and good. He will scornfully denigrate others whom he sees as a hindrance to his own evil desire. His speech is contemptuous and provocative leading to disharmony.

Verse 4 says “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.” This is a reference to a person who engages in inaccurate speech. The “deep waters” tells us that many things he wants to say lie deep beneath the surface and are hard to comprehend. To understand what he is saying would require great effort. Whereas the words of a wise person can be easily understood. He makes it plain, simple and uncomplicated. His wise words will flow like a bubbling brook.  

Verse 5 describes for us a speech that is one-sided and discriminating. It comes from one who is unjust and would take the side of the wicked. Such a person is biased and won’t give attention to the righteous. He does not fully weigh what is right and what is wrong before he makes his judgement. He would only evaluate based on what he sees on the surface and then comes to his conclusion.  

Verses 6-7 deal with an argumentative speech. The person who engages in this speech pattern is called a fool. From his lips will be words that create strife. What he says will create quarrels and violence. Whenever he opens his mouth, he creates trouble not only for himself but also for people around him. Such a person can be snared by his own words.

Finally, in verse 8, we are introduced to what can be seen as gossip. The whisperer is a gossiper. What he says are like sumptuous food and are often taken in, log, stock and barrel by people who are gullible. His words do not just make impressions but will penetrate deep within the deep, inner recesses of the listeners.    

Remember our words can create harmonious relationship or separate friends. Here’s a quote from Norman Vincent Peale. “Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind.  Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitude and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.” And the Bible urges us to speak judiciously. For harmful speeches are destructive forces that break up friendship. When we are careful, we will say only what we mean and mean what we say.