2 Samuel 14:28-33 – Nurturing objectivity

Though David allowed Absalom to return to Jerusalem, he did not allow him to come to court. The pair did not meet or see each other for two full years. Absalom tried to engage Joab to inquire about the possibility of him meeting up with the king. Both his attempts proved to be unsuccessful. The commander just simply refused to engage him. Absalom then resorted to burning his barley field that was next to his own. Immediately Joab responded and came to see him. The renegade son of David then demanded to know when he would be restored to the court. He reasoned that if the king thought he was guilty then execute him. Absalom wanted the king to decide one way or the other; to kill him or else restore him to his position. Having engaged Absalom, the general then appeared before David and somehow managed to convince him to restore Absalom. The king then called for his son who came and fell prostrate before the father. No word of repentance from him was recorded. Yet David was moved, and he kissed his son and everything appeared to be restored on the surface, at least for the moment.  

Absalom had shown himself to be a self-centered and mean person. For what he had done to Amnon, he knew he justly deserved death. That was why he fled to seek refuge with his maternal grandfather. It is true that David did not do right by not taking Amnon to task for raping Tamar, but Absalom did worst by taking matters into his own hand to murder the brother in cold blood. Despite being brought back from exile to Jerusalem, Absalom was unappreciative. He was demanding to be restored to his former position and was seeking his own personal advantage at all costs. He even had the audacity to burn down his benefactor’s field just to force an audience with his father, the king. He was virtually demanding that his father should forgive and justify him despite all that he had done. David in some sense was an indulgent father and did not know how to deal with him, so he reconciled with him. He was obviously oblivious of what his son was up to. 

The lesson that can be learned here is objectivity. Absalom lacked it when he demanded to be restored to his former position despite all that he had done. He should have shown gratitude for being spared and given a new lease of life. But so self-centered was he that he demanded to be treated as if he had done nothing wrong. That is a clear lack of objectivity. David was equally unobjective. Especially when it comes to his sons. He should have dealt with both Amnon and then with Absalom impartially, but he did not because they were his sons. He was discerning in other matters, but when it had to do with his children, he seemed to have lost his ability to reason logically. Objectivity demands that one be impartial regardless of who one is dealing with. If we are to be objective, we need to nurture a Biblically oriented paradigm so that we will be able to see things from the perspective of God. This will enable us to make godly and objective decisions. Our love for God and righteous living require it, so let us go for it.

2 Samuel 14:21-27 - Taking care of our inner man

On realizing that Joab was behind all that the woman of Tekoa had done, David summoned for him. When he came before the king, he gratefully fell prostrate and thanked the king for favorably acceding to his request. The commander then arose, went to Geshur immediately and fetched Absalom, and brought him back to Jerusalem. However, David did not fully forgive his renegade son and would not allow him to return to the court. He sent him home instead and would not see him. So Absalom went directly home and did not see David.

Meanwhile verses 25-27 tell us that Absalom was well-liked by the people. He was a good looking broke and it was said that there was no one in Israel as handsome as he. This is to say that he was astoundingly handsome. Absalom also had a head of bushy hair. He was said to be physically impeccable from head to toe. Every end of the year when he cut his hair, what he had trimmed off would weigh two hundred shekels which would be approximately 3 to 5 pounds. Absalom was not only physically endowed but was also blessed with three sons and one gorgeous daughter. So fabulously pretty was the daughter that he named her after Tamar, his own beautiful sister.   

We see in these verses the emphasis on physical and outward appearances of man. Absalom was said to be a very good looking person with a head full of hair. His daughter was said to be very pretty, as stunningly beautiful as Tamar, his sister. However, good looks are no substitute for wisdom, spirituality, and godliness. While it is a blessing to be endowed with good physical appearance, it is more important that we make time to nurture our inner man. Pitifully, man’s tendency is to take great care to adorn the outward man but foolishly neglect the inner man, which is more important to God. The beauty of our inner man is infinitely more important. The inner man or the spirit of man is the part of us that allows us to connect, touch, and communicate with God. It will do us well to spend time nurturing the inner aspect of our lives than to dress out the physical and live soulishly. Remember God’s focus is on our hearts. Hence, we are told to take care of the heart because out of it springs forth or flows the issues of life. The Lord Jesus in Matthew 15:18-19 reminds us that “…the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.” When we take care of our inner man, we ensure that what comes out of us will honor and please God. Hence it is important that we take care of our hearts so that godly desires will be nurtured. Emulating God, we must learn not to be impressed by looks, neither should we seek to impress others with our looks. It will do us well to seek to adorn our inner man. Inner beauty will outlast outward appearance. 

2 Samuel 14:15-20 – Living life discerningly

In 2 Samuel 14:15-17, the woman whom Joab engaged from Tekoa continued to finish her fictitious story. Her aim was to make David believe that her claims were real. However, David saw through her fake story about what she was driving at. He suspected that Joab was behind her ruse. He then questioned the woman asking her to answer him honestly. David pointedly asked if Joab was behind everything that she had just done. Knowing that her ruse had been uncovered, and she could no longer bluff the king, she admitted honestly. She told the king that it was indeed Joab who had masterminded the whole matter. What is interesting was her ability to prevent the king from exploding in anger. She wisely praised the king for his sagacity and ability to discern and see through her story to the purpose of her mission. She then plainly revealed that it was Joab who had engaged her to do all that she had done.

From an account like this, we see how important it is in life to be discerning. Notice how David was first misled into thinking that the woman’s fictitious story was real. He was genuinely interested to help the woman out of her supposed predicament. What’s important in this account is that finally, David was able to see through her ruse and discerned that she was only a mouthpiece for a mastermind behind her fake story. So he asked her if it was Joab, and had her confirmation that it was indeed him. With discernment, David was able to see through everything to identify what the woman was doing. In other words, he was discerning.  

Simply put, discernment is the ability to identify and grasp a truth from the obscure. Discernment is something we can nurture with the help of God. It is what every Christian needs more than ever today. Why? It is because we are living in an insincere, over-communicated world, overloaded with both true and false information. To live effectively, we need to be able to identify between what is genuine and what is spurious; what is needed, and what is not. Besides, as Christians, we need to discern and differentiate between what is of God and what is not. This will help us to be more perceptive and not to be taken in by everything that is hocus-pocus. Paul’s words in 2 Timothy 3:13  alerts us to the fact that in the last days that “…evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.” Mistaken zeal has led many well-intentioned Christians to run helter-skelter down different rabbit holes, seeking and searching for falsely perceived needs. One thing that can help us to cultivate discernment and perceptiveness is the Word of God. Every one of us must read, study, reflect, meditate, memorize, and apply the principles of God’s Word. The more adept we are with the Word of God, the more able we are to discern between what is true and what is not. We will then be able to choose right and live to please the Lord. Jesus’ words to Martha in Luke 10:42 still rings true today. He said, “One thing is needful, and Mary had chosen the good part that shall not be taken from her.” Mary chose to sit at Jesus' feet, listening to His Word. Like her, we must take time to sit with Jesus and be filled with His Word. This is a definite way to nurture discernment and be enabled to live discerningly. 

2 Samuel 14:8-14 – Prefer mercy to judgment

Like Nathan, the woman from Tekoa, instructed by Joab, told David a story with the objective of getting him to allow Absalom, his banished son, to come home. The story as we have learned from 2 Samuel 14:4-7 was about that woman’s two sons who fought with each other while working in the field together. One of them killed the other in the fight. And now all the members of her family were demanding that the woman hand over the life of the surviving son. Her dilemma was that if she did according to their demand, she would be deprived of her only means of support in life. Besides, her husband would be bereft of someone to carry on the family name. Here she was seeking David for a decisive action to end her dilemma.

David responded by asking her to return home first and he would give her an answer later concerning what to do. He was trying to delay giving any judgment. But like the persistent widow in Jesus’ parable in Luke 18:2-8 on the unjust judge, the woman refused to let him procrastinate. She would not leave until an answer was forthcoming. What the woman said in verse 9 seems to imply that David was unwilling to be involved in the guilt by judging on the matter. The lady then assured David that she would bear the sole responsibility for whatever guilt resulting from his decision. Realizing that he could not delay the judgment, David asked her to bring those who were pressuring her to him, and he would order them to stop harassing her. Even that did not satisfy that woman. She persistently pressed the king in the name of God for an assurance that her surviving son would go unharmed. David was cornered into assuring her that not a single hair on the surviving son’s head would fall to the ground, thus guaranteeing that her son would be saved. 

Wisely, in verses 12-14, the woman then made the application of the story by first seeking permission from David to speak. The king assertively told her to say what was in her mind. Then she boldly pointed to the king’s inconsistency without mentioning Absalom’s name. She asked him why he was willing to assure the safety of her surviving son yet would not ensure the safe return of his own banished son. In so doing, David was not exercising mercy. He was in fact doing harm to the people of God by not pardoning and allowing his son, the favorite of the people, to return. She continued to reason with David saying that death would come upon everyone. Once a person died, he or she would be like water spilled on the ground that could not be gathered back again. She was probably alluding to the death of Amnon here. In the last part of verse 14, we see how it was applied to David. Though the king deserved to die, for taking the life of Uriah yet God found a way to let him live and be reconciled to Him. Therefore David could emulate God and find a way to allow his banished son to return, though he rightly deserved death.

The account here points us to God’s mercy. All of us, like David and Absalom, are sinners and fallen short of God’s glory. And for our sin, we all deserve death because the wages of sin is death. Yet God in His love for us found a way, at great sacrifice to Himself, to forgive and pardon us in Christ. These verses call for us to emulate God and be more forgiving and merciful in life. No matter how much wrong we may have received at the hands of others, we will do well to find a place in our hearts to be magnanimous, merciful, and forgiving. If we repay good for evil, we will be doing exactly what God would do. According to James 2:13, “…judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.” So be merciful!

2 Samuel 14:1-7 – Be astute but not deceptive

The consequence of David’s sin with Bathsheba was playing itself out. We saw how Amnon, his eldest son raped Tamar, one of David’s daughters by another of his wife. Because he did nothing to punish Amnon, Absalom the brother of Tamar took upon himself to kill Amnon. After murdering Amnon, Absalom fled to Geshur to seek refuge with his maternal grandfather, the king of Geshur. For three long years, Absalom and his father did not see each other. In those three years, David had finally come to some closure concerning Amnon’s death and his animosity toward Absalom had also slowly but surely receded. So from anger, he now began to feel for Absalom to the point that he yearned for him. After all, no matter what Absalom had done, he was still his son. Pride could be what was preventing him from making the first move to reach out to Absalom to seek reconciliation. David was human after all.

Putting on our sanctified imagination, we surmised that Joab, the commander of David’s men, saw through everything. He knew that David still had a heart for Absalom. And if anything were to happen, it had to take some engineering. So he took it upon himself to initiate the reconciliation. But why did Joab take upon himself to engineer the settlement? The simplest reason would be because he was David’s cousin and wanted to see some unity within his family. A more complex reason would be that he wanted to gain David’s favor again. He knew that David did not fully trust him since the day he had killed Abner, who came to help David to reunite Israel with Judah to gain control of the whole of Israel. Go to 2 Samuel 3 for more details of how Joab killed Abner. Another reason could also be that he was doing it to consolidate his own position. Assuming that with Amnon’s death, Absalom would become the eldest son and would be the heir to the throne. It would do him a whole lot of good when Absalom rose to the throne.

So he sought out a woman in Tekoa to fake a mourning and to kick off his plan to get David to pardon Absalom. The woman came and fell prostrate before the king pleading for his help. Everything she said to the king was taught to her by Joab. She told David a story that was somewhat similar in the experience that David had with Amnon and Absalom, saying that she was a widow with two sons. Her sons got into a fight while working together in the field and one killed the other in a struggle. Now she faced the demand of the other family members to hand over the remaining son. If she did, her husband would be deprived of a descendant to perpetuate the family name.

One lesson to learn is about being perceptive in life. It is a needful quality if we want to navigate through life astutely. While it is good to build a life that is astute, we must not be deceptive. We know that there is a thin line between being astute and being deceptive. True astuteness deals with a situation without any ulterior motive with the intention of working for an outcome where everyone benefits. Whereas a deceptive person would come to manipulate a situation with the intention for one own’s personal gain. We must learn to seek a resolution to a situation peacefully and in a God-approved way. So live life effectively with courage and astuteness!

2 Samuel 13:30-39 – Discipline delayed increases pain

The sword that Nathan said would divide David’s house had started. And Amnon was killed by Absalom. Once he was killed, the other sons of David scattered, mounted their mules and ran for their lives. News then came to David. He was first told that all his sons were killed by Absalom and none of them survived that massacre. David then immediately arose, tore his garment, laid prostrate on the ground, and mourned believing that all his sons were dead. When his servants saw what he did, they ripped their clothes as well. At this point, Jonadab spoke up assuring David that only Amnon had been killed but that the rest of his sons were spared. He also told David that Absalom had fled. Shortly after he had spoken, David’s other sons were spotted coming toward Jerusalem. All of them came to David who was mourning, and they all joined him and wept bitterly.

Jonadab was a double-headed snake. Wasn’t he the one who had counseled Amnon to feign illness so that David would visit him? He was also the one who had advised Amnon to request for Tamar to come and bake cakes for him and to nurse him. In other words, he was an accomplice to Amnon’s wicked deed. What’s worst was that he knew that Absalom was planning and waiting for an opportunity to have Amnon killed. It did not occur to him to do the right thing and alert David about it. Now he was telling David that Absalom had determined to get at Amnon, since the day his sister was raped. Isn’t this a tad too late?

Absalom having killed Amnon, fled to his maternal grandfather, Talmai, the king of Geshur. Verse 37 said that David mourned for Amnon every day. This was one of the reasons why he did not chastise him for raping Tamar and that was also the reason that Absalom took matters into his own hand. Meanwhile, Absalom remained with his grandfather for three years. The time had elapsed, and time heals. Soon David had gotten over the loss of Amnon and started to miss Absalom. So he pined for him.  

Here are some truths we can pick up from these verses. Firstly, we must not allow a vengeful heart to develop in us. If we do, we will end up being consumed by evil intention and bitterness. And when that spirit reaches its height, the evil intention will be acted out to exact the revenge. Secondly, we must be careful whom we are listening to. Though Amnon had received his just dessert, it was Jonadab who had instigated him into evil. Amnon heard too much from Jonadab, who masterminded his evil deeds. He not only helped to plan the rape of Tamar but, when he knew Amnon was in danger he did not even alert David. He literally threw Amnon under the bus. So we must be careful who we listen to. Finally, we see the danger of partiality. As parents or leaders showing partiality, it will always lead to bias and tinted judgment. David’s love for Amnon blinded him to act judiciously. He did nothing when he was told of Amnon’s wicked deed. He literally kicked the can down the road and deferred the trouble. By not acting, David had empowered Absalom to act with greater venom. That had increased his sorrow. We need to take corrective measures swiftly; delayed discipline always increases pain. So learn to act swiftly, and correct immediately. It’s needful!

2 Samuel 13:23-29 – The danger of anger

Although the Bible said that Absalom hated Amnon for humiliating his sister, it did not describe what took place within him. It would not be over imagining to reckon that he would be plotting to avenge his aggrieved sister. It would also not be too much to imagine him seething in silent anger. So 2 Samuel 13:23-29 hinted that after two years, Absalom was ready to carry out his revenge on Amnon. It is not wrong to say that his plot took two years in the making. It is not too much also to think that during those times, he harbored the thought that Amnon needed to be severely chastised for the heinous crime he had committed. And perhaps in those two years, he was hoping that David, his father, would do something. But to his disappointment, apart from being angry David did nothing. He was probably seething in silent anger for two years till his resentment and bitterness toward Amnon were greatly exacerbated.  

In his plot, he first invited his father and his brothers to celebrate the sheepshearing ceremony with him at Baal-hazor. Being considerate, David declined. He did not want Absalom to incur more expense than it was needed just to get him and his entourage there. The quick-thinking Absalom, then requested that Amnon be sent to represent him at the ceremony. The unsuspecting father was clueless about what he intended to do. So he acceded to the request and granted permission for Amnon to attend the ceremony together with his other sons. So Amnon together with all the king's other sons attended Absalom’s sheepshearing ceremony at Baal-hazor in Ephraim.   

Absalom’s subversion to kill Amnon had all been set. He told his men in no uncertain terms to be ready and to kill Amnon when his heart was merry. So when Amnon had become drunk, Absalom’s men carried out his order and slew Amnon. When that took place, all of David’s other sons fled in terror each on his mule. It must have been quite a commotion. The way Absalom had Amnon assassinated would cause more troubles, but he couldn’t care. He was bent on taking revenge for the sister. Vengeance by its very nature is calculated to be cruel, so he had Amnon assassinated in cold blood. But for us New Testament believers, it pays to know that we are commanded to leave the vengeance to God. Romans 12:19 clearly states “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay.’”

The passage today also shows us what anger, when not properly handled, can become uncontrollable and detrimental. It can cause a person to be cold-hearted and cruel. Hear a word from Jesus, our Lord concerning anger. In Matthew 5:22 He admonishes us to control our anger. He said, “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” In  Ephesians 4:26, the Apostle Paul’s counsel is, “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Lastly in James 1:20, we are reminded that anger cannot do the righteous works of God. It is true that anger is just one letter short of danger. Control it before it wreaks havoc in our lives. So, beware!

2 Samuel 13:21-22 – Everyone needs a good father

When David heard of what Amnon had done to Tamar, he was very angry. Unfortunately, to be angry was not enough, he should have taken some corrective actions. The crime Amnon had committed cries out for justice to be done. And by not carrying out what was needful for a father to do, he left many questions unanswered. Where was David's sense of justice? Didn’t he pronounce death for the man who had taken a poor man’s ewe lamb in Nathan’s story? Why didn’t he deal with the matter more judiciously? Was not the evil deed committed by Amnon serious enough to warrant a serious discipline? Let us postulate some reasons why he was angry but remained reticent. Firstly, it could well be that Amnon was his eldest son, the heir apparent and he loved him deeply. This could be substantiated by his willingness to send Tamar to nurse Amnon, at his request. Secondly, he might have felt guilty for being party to the crime because it would have been avoided had he not so naively sent Tamar to Amnon. He could be blaming himself for the crime that Amnon had committed. Thirdly, it could also be that his recent sin with Bathsheba had left him a scar that made him reluctant to deal with the present issue. Fourthly, it could also be that he remembered the judgment pronounced by God through Nathan and felt he should just leave it to God. Whatever it was, David had left justice undone.

Meanwhile, Absalom, the blood brother of Tamar was devising a plot to deal with Amnon. Verse 22 tells us that he remained silent and did not speak a word either good or bad. He was a shrewd man and he kept about the wrong done to the sister to himself. Absalom was the still water runs deep type of character. He appeared to be absorbing the damage done to the sister and enduring it. Nothing can be more dangerous than a heart that is aggravated. We are told that he hated Amnon for what he did to his sister. Perhaps had David dealt justly with Amnon, it would have at least pacified Absalom. He did not do a thing, so Absalom’s hatred for Amnon grew disproportionately.  

From these two verses, we can learn about fathering. David is a bad model for fathers. What he had done and what he failed to do tells us that he was not so adept at fathering. He should have understood Amnon's request for Tamar better. The latter’s unusual request for Tamar should have caused him to smell a rat, yet he was so unsuspecting. And when he heard of the wrong, he was only angry. It was barely enough for such a heinous crime that demanded a serious discipline. It is good for us here to consider how to be good parents. Here’s a belated Father’s Day message. Firstly, a good father needs to understand his role in the family. He is the head of the house and the strength of the home depends largely on his godly leadership. To be a good model for his family, his relationship with God will enable him to discharge his role more capably. Secondly,  he must not be an absentee father but be the one who takes on the key role in raising the family. This calls for his commitment to be a key player in the children’s upbringing. A good father takes time to know his children, seeking to help them discover their talents and giftings and spending time to bring the best out of them. One final thing what a good father should always do. He must conduct his life in such a way that he lives his life consistently, learns about life continually, loves his family compassionately, and leaves behind a legacy constantly. Remember everyone needs a good father! 

2 Samuel 13:15-20 – Let’s cultivate a godly conscience

The first verse 0f 2 Samuel 13 tells us that Amnon loved Tamar. The affection he had for her was one-sided. When there is no mutuality, there will not be any chemistry. Unable to get near her, he became frustrated to a point where he became sick. At the advice of Jonadab, he pretended to be sick and made David sent Tamar to nurse him. In the privacy of his chamber, he raped her despite her desperate plea. Immediately after he had violated her, 2 Samuel 13:15 tells us that his love for her turned into hatred. Why did Amnon's feelings for Tamar change so drastically? Obviously, it was because of unrequited love. The once feeling of affection had become intense hatred. This plus his guilt of having raped her rendered him heartless. She became the object of his acrimonious aversion as he ordered her out of his presence. 

Tamar then again reasoned and pled with him. To thrust her out after violating her would be worse than the violation. Why? It would appear as if Tamar was the initiator and seducer. But her plea fell on death ears. Amnon ordered his servants to thrust her out and had the door bolted after her. Shamed and humiliated, Tamar went into mourning. She tore her multicolored garment, a common adornment for the king’s daughters. Then she put ashes on her head and covered her now unveiled face with her hands because the veil was also ripped off by Amnon in his violation. And she ran toward her brother’s home crying. Having ascertained that she was violated by Amnon, Absalom, her brother, counseled her to stay calm. He was probably thinking of avenging her. But he knew that if she raised the alarm, it would complicate his plot. So he told her to remain calm as he devised his scheme. Meanwhile, Tamar remained desolate in Absalom’s house as a recluse.

It is so repulsive to read an account like this. How could Amnon do such a thing to Tamar, who was his half-sister? How could he treat her so horribly? Here was an innocent sister coming with good intentions to nurse him yet so horrendously treated. Only the devil would repay evil for good. The truth about every human life is this: within each one of us lies both a positive and negative nature. Time and circumstances of life can awaken either one of these natures. Unless we take time to come before God to allow His Word and grace to nurture our conscience, we will not be able to choose and act rightly. We will most likely choose the path of least resistance. But when we take time and allow God’s transforming process to take effect in our life, self-control will be built over time. Then we will be able to resist the lure of our lower nature.

Here is the last stanza of the hymn, Take Time To Be Holy, to exhort us:  

“Take time to be holy, be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each motive beneath His control.
Thus led by His Spirit to fountains of love,
Thou soon shalt be fitted for service above.

2 Samuel 13:11-14 – Lust always takes us into a lowlife

Amnon managed to isolate Tamar by first ordering all the people out of his chamber and then had her brought the cakes she had baked for him into the room. So now both he and the half-sister were all alone in a room with no one else present. He then seized Tamar and insisted that she should sleep with him. Of course, she refused and tried to persuade him out of his despicable intention. She gave him many desperate reasons for why he should not do what he intended to do.  

Firstly, she told him that to violate her would be a horrendous deed.  Secondly, she told him that such an act had hardly been seen in Israel. Thirdly, what he was about to do was a disgraceful act. Fourthly, she tried to make him see how others would view them. She would have to bear the shame and reproach of his violation and he would be deemed a godless fool. And Tamar even went on to suggest that Amnon should peak to their father, David, for her hand in marriage. She reckoned that David would surely accede to his request if he asked him to. But Amnon could not stand to reason, for lust had gotten the better of him. And lust. we know, is a difficult thing to control because it is an inordinate urge that almost always demands to be fulfilled instantly. So Amnon could not be persuaded. Since he was stronger, he overpowered Tamar and raped and violated her.  

This account reveals to us what lust is and what it can do to a person. Lust is a wrong sexual desire. It is an inordinate appetite that is hard to control and always demands instant gratification. Lust has no regard for God as well as the person who one sets one desire on. one places one's eyes upon. Unlike true love, lust renders one incapable of rational thoughts and causes one to act wantonly. Catering to one’s lust will make one a slave to one’s disproportionate passion and carnality. The best way to overcome lust is to cultivate a deep love for God. The purity of the heart is one thing every Christian must make it his or her goal in life to develop. Only as we seek to purify our heart then can we experience God in all His entirety and fullness.

Just one closing thought to consider before we leave this discussion on the harm of being lustful. Lust as a wrongful desire does not come about in an instant of a moment. It is always the result of constant ogling of one’s eyes on undesirable objects such as pornographic materials and feeding of one’s mind with unwholesome thoughts. If we desire to be godly and pure, we need to be careful with what we see and what we think about in life. Put Philippians 4:8 into practice daily. Paul said, “...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” When we practice the exhortation of this verse, we are on the way to a balanced and God-glorifying life. Be sure to do it daily for His glory!     

2 Samuel 13:1-10 – Wrong passion fuelled by wrong counsel

The book of 2 Samuel has two broad divisions. The first division, from chapters 1-12, describes how Israel expanded under the reign of David. He enjoyed success to a large extent until his sin with Bathsheba and the plot he hatched to murder her husband, Uriah. God then sent Nathan to uncover his wickedness and pronounced a two-fold judgment for his sin. As a consequence of his sin, the prophet told David in 2 Samuel 12:10-12 that “‘Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ Thus says the Lord, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.’” The second division of 2 Samuel begins from chapter 13 all the way to chapter 24. These chapters tell us how God’s judgment pronounced by Nathan played itself out in the life and household of the king. 

David had a large household because he had many wives who bore him many children. In 2 Samuel 13 we will see the mischief of his eldest son Amnon. He was the heir apparent bore to him by Ahinoam of Jezreel.  Amnon had a crush on his half-sister Tamar, the sister of Absalom. They were the children bore to David by Macaah, another of his wife. Tamar must be stunningly beautiful and attractive.  

In those times, the unmarried ladies were kept in a secluded section of the courtyard. Though Amnon could see her he could not get near her. So he fell ill from frustration for not being able to get near her. Unfortunately, he had a scheming cousin by the name of Jonadab whom he was close to. He helped him to devise a plot to get close to Tamar. He suggested that Amnon should feign illness to get David to come to visit him. When the father came and visited, he made the request for Tamar to come and nurse and take care of him. The unsuspecting and naïve David granted his request. So Tamar came and made him some cakes and set it on the table for Amnon to eat. But he refused to eat at the table and insisted that she should bring it to his chamber, which he had ordered everyone to leave. This would have indicated the wrong intention he had. But innocently and foolishly, Tamar acceded to his coaxing and brought the cake to his room.

In this account we see in Amnon a case of one who cherished impure affection so much so that he was overtaken by an unquenchable obsession. It is not wrong to admire beauty but when the admiration drives one to a point of lust, it has become a serious matter. The first thing we can learn from this passage is what we need to do when faced with a situation like this. The best action is not to let our thought dwell too long on it. There is a need to control our minds. For if we become overly obsessed with disproportionate thoughts, they will generate a wrong desire and eventually a wrong and unbridled passion. While the Bible encourages us to resist sin, it tells us to flee sexual immorality. This we will do well to take heed. We need to learn to run away both physically and mentally. The second thing we can learn from this passage is the need to seek godly counsel. Know who you are seeking counsel from. Always evaluate what you have heard. Many words and little or no prayer is dangerous. Any advice to pander to a wrong desire can never be right. Remember, “if you run into a skunk, you will stink like a skunk.” So, first, don’t entertain sinful thoughts, and second, reject ungodly advice.

2 Samuel 12:26-31 – The need to follow through a task

This account in 2 Samuel 12:26-31 picked up from the battle Joab, Abishai and their men had with the Ammonites and the Syrian ally. In 2 Samuel 10, we were told how the Ammonites retreated into the city of Rabbah when they saw their ally, the Syrians defeated by Joab and his men. In that battle, another group of David’s men led by Abishai, Joab’s brother, pursued the Ammonites as they retreated behind the city. David who should have led his men into battle did not do so. He remained in Jerusalem where he committed the adultery with Bathsheba described in 2 Samuel 11. After dealing with David’s fall and restoration, the author then proceeded to finish the battle Joab, Abishai and their men had with the Ammonites. So what is described in verses 26-31 took place between David’s sin and the birth of Solomon.

From this account, we learn that sin always renders a person’s incapable to carry out his duty. So we see David forfeiting his right to lead in the battle. He instead had left the battle entirely to Joab to take charge. There came a point that he had to take orders from Joab. In verse 28 Joab ordered him saying,  “…gather the rest of the people together and camp against the city and capture it, or I will capture the city myself and it will be named after me.” Just imagine the once fearless man who killed a lion, a bear, and Goliath, now rendered incompetent by his sin. What sin does to us is that it makes us lose sight of our goal in life and make us focus on the wrong thing. It will do us well to put at the forefront of our mind the first statement of the Westminster Shorter Catechism. It says, “The chief end of men is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” Always remember that this is our first purpose in life.

After the restoration of the relationship with God, David’s confidence also needed to be restored as well. Joab then challenged him to get up and fight or forfeit the honor due to him. It appears that David managed to harness his confidence and went out into battle. He captured Rabbah and took the crown of the king’s head that weighed a talent. Besides, David also took the precious stone found on the crown and put it on his own crown.  This would no doubt restore the confidence he needed after his fall. It is true that we should stay humble when our relationship with God is restored, but we must not allow our past wrongs to cause us to become insecure and diffident. Stay confident in God.

In 2 Samuel 10, we learn how the Ammonites had started the conflict. They had chosen to humiliate David’s ambassadors, sent to console Hanun on the demise of his father. He chose to listen to the wrong counsel of his advisors who said that David’s men came to spy out the land. He had half of the beards of David’s ambassadors shaved and their garments cut from the hips. This was uncalled for and had sparked off a war. Now when they had been captured, the Israelites also humiliated them as described in verse 31. Everything we do had a reciprocate effect. Hence, it is better to treat others with thoughtfulness.  

Like David, we must not let our past failures hold us back to do the things God had called and assigned us to complete. Always stay focused in life, stay confident in God, and follow through a task we have been assigned.

2 Samuel 12:24-25 – Peace after the storm

God loves us too much to leave us in sin. So He will deal with it. However, the outcome of our life after God has dealt with us depends largely on how we will respond to His dealing. Some people see graciousness in God’s dealing, recognize their wrong, repent, and experience a restored relationship with Him. Others become bitter, blame God, resign to life, and refuse to move forward. In David,  we see a man who knew how to rightly respond to the LORD’s dealing. He was aware that God had every right to deal with him in ways the LORD deemed fit. Hence, David could move forward in life. One wonderful and comforting thought about divine dealing is that God will do so measuredly and with great concern for us. Psalm 103:14 tells us that “For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”

David had received the comfort of God after his sin was dealt with. So he could in turn comfort Bathsheba who would certainly be severely affected as well. David went in to her and they had intimacy. Bathsheba then bore him a son whom he named Solomon, meaning peaceful. This is an attestation of his restored relationship with God. David had experienced the peace of God after the stormy dealing. Hence, it was so apt to name this son peaceful. Like David, Solomon would also be a constant reminder that peace will always be our experience when our sins are dealt with and our relationship with God is rightly restored.

The last sentence of verse 24 tells us that the LORD loved Solomon. So He sent Nathan to David to have this child named Jedidiah, meaning beloved of Yahweh or the LORD loves. In Hebrew, the name Jedidiah is a combination of two terms - Yahweh and David. This is a hint that He would be the instrument God would use for the forward movement of His kingdom. It is a show of divine approval.  

We need to know that God’s dealing with man is often restorative and not merely punitive. Yes, we will have to bear the consequence of sin, but when we respond humbly to God’s dealing, He will restore us to a peaceful relationship with Him. The process will no doubt be painful, but the end is peace and joy with God. Psalm 30:5 so aptly tells us that “His (God’s) anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.” So take heart. Seek to maximize life with God. When we falter, just repent, submit to God, and trust Him to make good the relationship again. We can experience peace and restoration and move on with Him again. There will be peace after the storm. This is God’s grace, His marvelous grace! 

2 Samuel 12:15-23 – There is no compromise for the consequence of sin

The word of God, given by Nathan came true. The child Bathsheba bore for David was stricken with a serious illness. In contrition David humbled himself, fasted, and fell prostrate before God. Although his advisors stayed around just in case he wanted to get up, but David did not get up for seven days. They even coaxed him to eat something, but he flatly refused to eat anything. He was hopeful that God would change His mind and spare the child. Despite the seven days of contrition, the child's illness turned for the worst and eventually died, but his advisors were afraid to tell him. They thought that while the child was alive, he was already unwilling to get up, much less now that his child had died. They were afraid that he would not be able to take it. It’s a blessing to have such thoughtful followers.  

 

However, when David saw the whispering of the people who were comforting him, he perceived that the child had died. When he was sure that the child had died, he got up from the ground, washed and anointed himself. He dressed up and went up to the house of God and worshiped. Returning to his house he asked for food. David's sudden turn of behavior surprised his royal servants. David then explained his rationale in verses 21-23. He clarified that while the child’s life was hanging by a thread, he fasted, wept, and prayed to the Lord, hoping that God would change His mind. He had hoped that God would be gracious and spare the child. But now that the child was dead, there was no more reason for him to fast. He reckoned that no amount of mourning could ever reverse the mind of God to bring the child back. David surmised that the only way he would ever meet the child again would be in death.         

 

The question we ask is, why did God take the life of an innocent child when it was David who had sinned? It seems unfair that the child should bear the brunt of David and Bathsheba’s wrong. The death of the child underscores for us that consequences of sin do not just affect the person who had committed the sin but will also affect the lives of those dear to the one who had committed the sin. It is true that God will forgive the sin of a contrite person, but the painful consequence of one’s sin always remains. One has to bear the consequence of his or her sin. One other thought comes to mind, why God had to take away the child? He did it for His own name’s sake. Second Samuel 12:14 said, “However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die.” If God allowed the child to live, He would allow His name to be discredited by sin. In dealing with the adulterous child of David and Bathsheba, God showed how He, the holy and righteous God, felt about sin. He would not allow anyone to take sin casually. God has no compromise with sin. It pays to know that every sin has a consequence. Because knowing it will help us to be cautious about how we conduct our lives, and so live to honor Him. Remember what you sow you shall reap!

2 Samuel 12:10-15 -The price of sin

God’s original intention for man was for him to be at peace with the Creator Himself, with others, with nature, and with man’s own self. But the fall of man disrupted the harmony man was to experience. Every person will now have to encounter hardship. The call of the Bible to endure hardship in life tells us that trials, afflictions, and suffering will always be part and parcel of life. However, while hardships will be experienced, many are self-invited ones. When one willfully disobeys God’s Word, the consequence becomes inevitable. One such example is seen here in David’s willful sin against God. To cover up his adultery with Bathsheba, he made many deceptive moves that culminated in Uriah being murdered. He even annexed Bathsheba and made her his wife. Because of all that he had done, he had inadvertently caused hardship to fall upon himself and brought much turmoil into his family.  

The justice of God necessitated His judgment on David for his gross misconduct. God’s initial silence was perhaps to allow David to reflect and repent. But his sin and seared conscience had affected his moral compass and rendered him incapable to respond rightly to God. Too compassionate to leave him alone in his sin, God sent Nathan to stir up his conscience and deal with him. Fortunately, David responded and acknowledged his sin. Nathan then pronounced the severe consequences he would be facing. The penalty was outlined for him by Nathan in verses 11-12. Firstly, for taking Bathsheba as his wife, his house would experience great conflict, disharmony, and turmoil. The sword would not depart from his house. Secondly, God would allow evil against him to originate from within his own house. What he did surreptitiously with Bathsheba, his own wives would be blatantly and overtly violated by those close to him.   

David was quick to respond. He did not resist but acknowledged his wrong. God told him that He would take away his sin and though he had prescribed death for himself, God chose to spare him. He was told that he would not die for his sin, but the child who was bored to him by Bathsheba must die. What David had done had given occasion for God’s name to be maligned and discredited. Remember every time we commit a sin, we discredit the name of God and give room for others to see God in a bad light. It behooves us therefore to live a life for the honor of God.

How God dealt with David assures us that God is just. He will deal fairly with all. God will not play favorites when He deals with us. Justice will be equally applied regardless of one’s status in life. One motivation that should keep us from sinning must be our love for Him and not just a fear of the punishment. We must love God enough to detest the fact that His reputation will be tarnished because of our sin. Let us love Him with all our heart, our mind, our soul, and strength. He is worthy of it all!

2 Samuel 12:7-9 – The honest truth

As soon as David had done pronouncing his judgment, Nathan calmly pronounced his. The prophet brought the devastating application to his parable by saying to the king, “You are the man!” Think of Nathan’s parable again. At least the rich man only seized the poor man’s only possession but did not take his life. Whereas in David’s case, he not only seized the poor’s man only possession but also had him killed. If the rich man deserves death according to David’s assessment, what he himself had done would deserve much more.   

 

What David had done to Uriah was incongruous with what a man whom God had given so much would do. Through Nathan, God reminded David of all that he was blessed with. He was made king over Israel and was preserved and delivered from the hand of Saul. In addition, He also gave him all that Saul once possessed and had made him the king of Judah as well as entire Israel. And if that were too little for him, God would have gladly added to him much more. But what David had done to Uriah clearly violated the commandments of God. He was guilty of at least two counts. He broke the sixth as well as the tenth commandments. He not only committed murder but also coveted his neighbor’s goods (wife). What he had done was wicked, and in violating God’s Word, he had shown contempt for the LORD. It was despicable of him. He not only had taken Uriah’s wife but also had him killed by the Ammonites.

 

We said that Nathan was a wise, witty, and courageous man. This was demonstrated in how he dealt with David. Nathan began by speaking to David’s sleeping conscience. The way he responded to the parable of Nathan showed undeniably that David could still differentiate between right and wrong, but his conscience was asleep. With a sleeping conscience, he was living in self-denial. This tells us how needful it is for us to cultivate a conscience that is ever alive to God. It will help us to be aware of our own wrong.  Secondly, Nathan set forth David’s sin before him. He did not mince his words but said it in an unmistakable way. “You are the man” so said, Nathan. He started diplomatically but at the fitting moment, he left no room for doubts. Truth needs to be told and told unmistakably and fittingly. Remember that it is the truth that will set us free. We should, therefore, not be afraid, to tell the truth, and neither should we be afraid to accept the truth. Thirdly, Nathan made sure that the fact of his sin was brought home undeniably to David’s heart. His words were incisive. “Why have you despised the word of the Lord by doing evil in His sight?” he asked. He turned the searchlight of God into David’s heart. We also need to turn the searchlight of God into our own hearts frequently. It will help us in our alignment. Let us be sure to nurture a conscience that’s ever alive to God; to live truthfully before Him, and keep aligning our lives with His Word. It is imperative, so let’s do it! 

 

 

2 Samuel 12:5-6 – Taking stalk of life

Nathan’s parable was so well told that David could not tell that he was the subject of the story. So his anger was kindled against that rich man without realizing that it was himself that he should be angry with. So he spontaneously declared the judgment that the rich man deserved and that the fourfold restitution the poor man was due. So in verse 5 he declared, “As the LORD lives, surely the man who has done this deserves to die. He must make restitution for the lamb fourfold because he did this thing and had no compassion.” He was so oblivious that the pun was on him.

David’s pronouncement of the judgment was severe. Would he be so brutal in his judgment had he known that he was the rich man of the story? Had David taken time to reflect on the story, perhaps he would be able to see where Nathan was leading him to. Isn’t this the propensity of a sinful man? Quick to jump to condemn others so long as it is not himself. We deduce from his reaction that David had no self-awareness. This is a classic illustration of what Jesus our Lord said about the ability to see a spat of dust in someone else’s eye, yet unable to see the plank that is blocking one’s own eye. This is the blinding effect of sin. 

Sadly, when a person is living in sin, he or she lacks a sense of self-awareness. That lack will eventually lead to self-deception. This leads to the inability to rightly appraise oneself. When we failed to rightly appraise ourselves, we tend to be more condemning in dealing with the wrongs of others. Carl Jung said that “Knowing your own darkness is the best method to deal with the darkness of other people.” Conversely, when we know our own failings, we tend to be more generous in appraising the wrongs of others. People tend to be less judgemental when they evaluate the situation from the perspective of their personal unworthiness.

These two verses warn us of the danger of self-deception. It can ruin our lives in ways that we will never know. The good news is that we can avoid self-deception by evaluating and taking stalk of our life at the end of the day. Bear in mind that the first step to change is self-awareness. We must, therefore, make introspection a part of our daily habits so that we will know what we need to do to improve ourselves. “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!”  This is Paul’s earnest plea in 1 Corinthians 13:5. It will do us well to take heed!

2 Samuel 12:1-4 – Being God’s instrument to correct

In that one year after he had killed Uriah and took his wife, no word was said about how David felt. He literally lived about a year without even a hint of remorse for what he had done to an innocent man. How do we know it was about a year? In 2 Samuel 12:14, we learn that the child Bathsheba conceived from the adultery was already born. It was then that Nathan, the prophet, was sent by God to speak to him. Just imagine that God allowed him to go about his merry way for about a year without a word. Didn’t David’s conscience disturb him at any time in that one year? Did he at any moment feel bad about what he had done to Uriah, his faithful soldier? Didn’t David feel perturbed about what he did to Uriah, every time he held Bathsheba in his bosom in that one year? Apparently not. Thankfully, in sending Nathan, we see the heart of God. He loved David far too much to allow him to rot in sin. Not especially when He had raised him to lead His covenant people. Not especially when God could see that he was a man after God’s own heart.

So God sent Nathan to speak to David. Nathan came on the behest of God who was displeased with David for all that he had done. He went before the unsuspecting king not because he was sent for by David but in obedience to God. This prophet was the right spokesman of God. To appear before a king to reveal his sin must be an uncomfortable moment. It calls for wisdom, wits, and courage. And Nathan seemed to have it all. He was a culminate diplomat. Just see how tactfully he led David to patiently hear his story. Had he confronted the king directly it would have stirred up his anger or elicited a denial. So discreetly Nathan told him a story of how a rich man treated his poor neighbor just to entertain a visiting friend. Nathan so artfully and entertainingly told his story that unsuspecting David could not see that the joke was on him. The story was hinting to David that despite possessing so much yet to gratify his own desire, he would covet and take away that one and only precious possession that Uriah had. Here are some pertinent questions to ask. Do we dare to confront a leader when he has committed an obvious wrong? When we do it what should our approach be to disarm his defensiveness? Like Nathan, we certainly need the same wisdom, wits, and courage he had.   

Can we see the heart of God? Like David, God also loves every one of us too much to allow us to be hurt and devoured by our sins. We must not presume on God’s silence and think that it meant His approval. The truth in life is this: in due course, all sin will be found out. God will never allow us to go unchecked even when we disregard all good senses and go about gratifying our fallen nature. So for our own good, do not let sin make us turn a deaf ear to the voice of God. Be aware also that God often puts us around people whom He wants to deal with. We, like Nathan, need to be ready to be His mouthpiece to correct and set a person on the right path again. When the time calls for it, be sure to do it boldly and courageously, and so do so with wisdom and wits, guided by the Holy Spirit! 

2 Samuel 11:26-27 – Living a godly life scrupulously

Much have been said about King David and Joab the commander of his army. They were clearly feeding off each other’s ruthlessness. Uriah was sadly the innocent and unfortunate victim of their heartlessness. Before we leave 2 Samuel 11, let us spare some time and examine the life of  Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. Was she merely the unwitting and innocent victim caught in the web of David’s lust or was she just as guilty as the king who initiated the tryst? How much do we know about Bathsheba besides the fact that she cheated on her husband Uriah and ended up pregnant?  

Bathsheba was the daughter of Eliam according to verse 3 of 2 Samuel 11. And Eliam was the son of Ahitophel (2 Samuel 23:34), thus making Bathsheba his granddaughter. To take revenge for Uriah, his grandson-in-law, Ahitophel would later act against David by being a counselor to Absalom the king’s son in his rebellion. This, however, is a subject of discussion for another time. For now, let us take a closer look at Bathsheba.    

Firstly, Bathsheba was a beautiful lady. And beauty can be both an asset or a liability depending on how one steward it.  It can be harnessed to enhance one’s life or exploited to entrap the opposite gender. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” For all ladies, take a wise counsel from 1 Peter 3:3-4.  His advice for women is for them not merely to concentrate on the adornment of the external, “…such as braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;  but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”

Secondly, Bathsheba seemed to be lacking moral restraint. When summoned by David, she offered no resistance but instead responded willingly and immediately. Questions had been asked about her morality. Why did she deliberately take her bath in the open? Didn’t she know that where she was taking her bath was within the eyeshot of the king’s palace? These and many other questions had been raised. Though they may border on mere speculation, they remind people with good looks, male or female, to be more discrete in handling their morality. The purity of moral life would be more preferred. Every one of us should guard our moral life so that we do not become a stumbling block to others.

Thirdly, Bathsheba showed a lack of marital fidelity. It could well be that she was flattered by the king’s attention. She was a willing party to the king’s lustful overtures. Had she taken thought of her marital fidelity, she would have been more careful and David’s advance could have been checked. Marital fidelity is to be prized in our days of promiscuity. It pays to take our marriage vows seriously.

Finally, Bathsheba was scrupulous with the ceremonial but not on the moral law. This was fully in display when she lamented and mourned for Uriah’s death. The last verse of 2 Samuel 11 said that when her mourning was over, David sent for her and made her his wife and she bore him a son. Everything looked to be meticulously dealt with outwardly, but this is furthest from the truth. The last line of the last verse screams so loudly. “But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.” It is true that man looks at the outward, but God looks at the heart. It is fitting for us to close this discussion with Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:15-17. "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." So live scrupulously!