Proverbs 31:10-19 - The Ideal Wife (1)

These last 21 verses of the last chapter of the book of Proverbs pose as a unique conclusion to this book of wisdom. In many places, the earlier reference to the role of the women in this book, had not always presented it very positively. So, these last 21 verses present a very refreshing approach and change to the perspective of a woman and her faithfulness. This portion is suitably entitled in the New American Standard Bible as: Description of a worthy woman. A deeper reflection tells us that they are actually describing an ideal wife. This is made evidently clear by the rhetorical question asked in verse 10: “An excellent wife, who can find?” It tells us exactly what the author was thinking and talking about. An ideal wife, of course!

This is a woman of every man’s dream. We can at once think of no less than three useful reasons, though they could be others, for such a passage as this. Firstly, it will help a soon-to-be married woman prepare herself to be a great helpmeet to her husband to be. Secondly, it will help a wife to evaluate where she has not reached in terms of being an ideal wife. She can then make incremental adjustment and align herself to be one. Thirdly, it provides a guideline for a man looking for a great woman to be his wife. However, to be realistic, such a wife as the opening question suggests, is certainly hard to find. Bear in mind that ideal is always extreme. They are qualities that one should strive for but they are still a list of ideals. They should be there as a guide and not as a measure. One should not be unduly disappointed if she does not seem to have everyone of it. Even if she achieves 50 percent of this list, she is already a great wife. Based on the 22 Hebrew alphabets, this list shows us the picture of the different characteristic of an ideal wife. We shall cover the first ten today before we continue into the next twelve tomorrow.

Proverbs 31:10 tells us that an ideal wife is a noble wife. She is a woman of great moral value yet full of vigor and strength. The word jewel suggests that she is of great and priceless worth and certainly far more valuable than diamonds and precious gems.

Proverbs 31:11 suggests that she is trustworthy and this great trait gives confidence and ease to the mind of her husband. She knows how to act discreetly and has her husband’s interest at heart, even in his absence. Because of her contribution to the stability of the family, her husband has no lack of gains. She is his priceless asset and not liability.  

Proverbs 31:12 speaks of consistency. Her behaviour and conduct toward her husband is not erratic. She is always pursuing his best interest and seeks to do him good all the days of his life. Whether the circumstances of their marriage are congenial or not, she is relentingly undeterred. She is constant in the early years of their marriage and will remain faithful even in the advance and waning years of their lives. She will fully validate his trust by choosing her as his bride and partner for life.  

Proverbs 31:13 points to the fact that she is resourceful. Wool and flax are material used for making garments. It suggests that she makes sure that her family has enough material for their clothing. This ideal wife makes it her responsibility that her family members are adequately dressed.  

Proverbs 31: 14 reveals that she is also industrious. She will not spare any effort, even if it meant traveling a great distance, to meet the needs of her family. Like merchant-ships, she will not limit her search to just one place but many. This is to say that she will not leave a stone unturned to meet the needs of her family.

Proverbs 31:15 tells us that she is an early riser. Long before dawn, before the first beam of sunlight pierces through the golden sky, she would already be up and about. She does so to see that her family’s basic necessities for the day are prepared. She not only cares for her husband but also her children.  

Proverbs 31:16 indicates that she is also prudent. She has the ability to know where to invest. After due consideration and careful evaluation, she will wisely invest the money she has accumulated in a profitable field and has the potential to reap its rightful gain.   

Proverbs 31:17 is a picture of diligence. She undertakes to go about her tasks with vigour and strength. Nothing can impede her from fulfilling her duty. Once she has decided on a task, she fixes her eyes on the task and will not stop till the task is done. She simply has a sustained energy to complete a task not haphazardly but completely and painstakingly.

Proverbs 31:18 depicts her as a discerning and intuitive woman. One look at something she will have the astuteness to size up its worth. Even late into the night, she will be thinking and contemplating how to help her family advance. Besides, we are told in verse 19 that she is not an idle person. She will seize the remaining time she has at night to follow through with her work to make sure that they are all brought to a logical conclusion. With these we are given the first ten ideals. We will conclude with the next twelve remaining traits in: The Ideal Wife (2).