Friday, 22 June 2018

Proverbs 25:18-22 – Building great interpersonal relationship

It is rightly said that we should treasure relationships and not earthly possessions. And there are only two broad categories of relationships in life - the vertical and the horizontal. Of paramount importance is our vertical relationship with God. For us who love Him, He must always be the top most priority in life for all seasons. In congenial or the non-congenial time, we won’t allow anything to disrupt our faith and trust in Him. We must also not allow anything to alter our love for Him. Having placed Him right there on the top of our list, we now have to consider all other horizontal relationships. With regards to this, we know that there are different levels of earthly relationships. The depth of how we should relate with each one will depend on the closeness we have with each one. What are the levels in our earthly relationships?  Relationships between parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings, extended family members, in-laws, friends, neighbors, colleagues, associates, and strangers. These are the different categories of horizontal relationships. And we are required to rightly appraise each and allow God to enable each one to bring to fruition the plan and purpose He has for our life.

Proverbs 25:18-22 provide us with tips on how to handle inter-personal relationships. In verse 18, we are taught how not to offend our neighbor. We must not bear false witness against our neighbors, more aptly our fellowmen. When we do that we hurt them needlessly. Remember, the last of the Ten Commandments also urges us not to bear false witness against our neighbors. Why? Untruthful accounts can hurt just as badly as those weapons of war such as club, swords and sharp arrows. They can bring irreparable damage to a relationship.

In verse 19, we are shown one thing we must be careful in our relationship. We must not have misplaced confidence. We must certainly seek to trust others, but to place our confidence in an unreliable and untrustworthy person is foolhardy.  To put confidence in such a person is like having a rotten tooth or a sprained ankle. Such a person is of no help in time of trouble.

Verse 20 tells us to appropriately relate with people. For example, telling a joke in time of a person’s bereavement is untimely and unfitting. When a person’s heart is heavy with grief, levity is certainly inappropriate. It is like taking off one’s garment on a cold winter day. Pouring vinegar over soda will cause fermentation and make the soda to become sour and unfit for drinking. To try and cheer a person and make light of a grave situation is repulsive to anyone going through grief or in a foul tirade.

Verses 21-22 teach us how to disarm animosity in hostile relationships. When we do not repay evil for evil but instead repay good for evil, we put the offending person off guard. When we choose to offer pleasantries instead of trading insult for insult, we destabilize his animus towards us. Unexpected friendly actions to someone hostile can bring a calming effect in a heated situation.  It is like putting burning coal on his head. When we do that his anger may turn to remorse and regret. What’s wonderful is that we will please our Jehovah God who has asked us to love our enemies as ourselves. God is waiting to reward us as we walk in obedience even in this aspect of life.

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