Proverbs 25:11-17 – Concerning speech and lifestyle moderation

Wisdom in the book of Proverbs is seen in cultivating right relationship. It is about right relationship first of all with God, then with others. A person who knows how to relate with others harmoniously is considered wise. Whether in attitude, in words or in actions, a person of wisdom seeks to relate with others harmoniously. In Proverbs 25:11-15, we are given five tips on what constitute a good speech. When they are rightly applied in our rapport with others, we will build goodwill and a harmonious relationship.

In verse 11, the advice is to speak appropriately. Speaking appropriately is like nice trimmings that enhance and add value to something beautiful. Right words for the right occasion is important. A friendship is enhanced when we speak aptly and appropriately. Haven’t we seen how a relationship is ruined by the wrong words spoken unfittingly? It takes considerateness to speak fittingly. We must never shoot our mouth without evaluating the appropriateness of what we are about to say. No wonder James in his letter instructs us to be “slow to speak.”  Always think before we say anything.

Verse 12 tells us that there is value in correction but they must be done tactfully. We must be honest when correcting, but we must learn to be diplomatic. Some people tend to be brutally frank and that can be offensive. The level of frankness ought to commensurate with the degree of closeness one has with the person one is correcting. When our words are appropriately, truthfully, sincerely and measuredly given, they will be willingly received. Such words are like fine gold ornaments that are valuable.

Verse 13 says that when we are called upon to relay a message, we must ensure the accuracy of the message we are conveying. Misrepresenting a message is a common cause of deep misunderstanding. When we misrepresent a person who has entrusted us with the assignment, we prove to be an unreliable messenger. This verse encourages us to be a responsible and faithful messenger when we are entrusted to convey a message. Being a good messenger invigorates the sender like snow that refreshes the laborers, weltering in the heat in a hot harvest day.

Verse 14 is in effect telling us to make good on the promises we have made. One becomes an empty talker when he or she fails to deliver on what one has promised. It is better to be long on deliverance and short on promising, rather than the other way around. A braggart who can’t make good his words is like an empty cloud that has no rain.  Remember what they say, “Empty vessels make the most noise.”

Verse 15 advises us not to be too easily provoked. The call is to be forbearing, stay cool and calm and don’t needlessly fly off the handle. When we stay calm and collect, it is easier to pacify a person in the height of his anger. When dealing with someone who has lost his temper, all the more one should stay composed.  Otherwise the heatedness will escalate and a longer cooling time will be required. A gentle word in an agitated situation has a better chance of bringing peace, than a harsh and insensitive word spoken out of anger. Remember to stay unruffled no matter how heated an argument may be.

Verses 16-17 provide principles that are unrelated to one’s speech pattern. The one message of these two verses is a call to act with temperance and in moderation. The first is an advice not to over-indulge in food and the second not to over associate.  No matter how delicious food may be, overeating will cause one to reach a point of indigestion. When that happens, the good food eaten will be thrown out in vomit. Like speaking, we must also speak in moderation.

Concerning associating and fellowshipping, we must also learn not to overstay our welcome. Here the wise counsel is not to associate to a point where people loathe our presence. Thinking about temperance and moderation, we know it should also apply to the conversation we engage in. We must learn to speak moderately and measuredly. Never talk so much till a conversation becomes a murmuring, gripping, gossiping and complaining session. Take to heart the wise words of Solomon from the last part of Ecclesiastes 5:2, “…let your words be few.” We must learn to speak few but needful words!