Deuteronomy 22:13-21 – Regulating marital fidelity

Marriage is a God-ordained institution. And the sexual relationship is God’s gift for a married couple to develop intimacy. Without a doubt, fidelity in a sexual relationship is the best safeguard of a marriage. Faithfulness and loyalty are two important factors to ensure marital fidelity. They are the basic fabric of a good marriage. And a good marriage is the best testimony to a faithful God. In a world where marital faithfulness has been greatly compromised, it is important that we build our marriage on the foundation of God’s Word solidly. Hence, it is needful to explore what Deuteronomy 22:13-30 have to say about issues of fidelity in marriage. Though they were instructions given to the children of Israel many hundreds of years ago, they are nonetheless helpful for today’s Christians who want to ensure a good marriage. Our exploration here takes us to Deuteronomy 22:13-21 concerning a man who accused his bride of not being virtuous.

An unmarried woman must guard her virginity. For it was her God-given gift to be given to the man whom she would marry and spend her whole life with. In the context of the passage, a girl’s father was entrusted with the responsibility to ensure that his daughter did not lead a careless life and compromise her virginity before her marriage. The man who wanted to marry her had to pay the father a bride price. Therefore, he had every right to expect his bride to be a virgin when he finally took her as his wife. What happened if he accused her of not being a virgin after consuming the marriage? It was a serious charge and had to be dealt with. God would not allow a scandal to be perpetrated in His redeemed community.

What could the father do with such an accusation? Verses 16-19 describe what he could do when his son-in-law accused his daughter of infidelity before the marriage. Her father was expected to prove why the charge was false. All parties concerned would come before the elders of the city. The father would declare the charges brought against his daughter and then proceed to prove her innocence. How would the father prove his daughter’s innocence and that she was a virgin? Apparently, the newlywed would spread a cloth on the bed where they had their first sexual intimacy. It was supposed that the cloth would have some bloodstain because of the broken hymen. The father would bring the blood-stained cloth as evidence of his daughter’s virginity before the elders. If her innocence was proven, the man would have to compensate the bride’s father with a hundred shekels of silver. He was not allowed to divorce the girl as long as she lived. However, if he was proven right and his bride was no longer a virgin, the unvirtuous girl would be stoned to death to purge the land of the evil act.

Marriage in the eye of God would reflect His relationship with His people, Israel. Hence, He wants His people to build a just and fair community and a better testimony for Him. No innocent person should have to be a victim of a wrong charge and be made to bear the guilt. No guilty person should be allowed to get away scorch-free for causing undue harassment to the innocent. Hence every accusation had to be proven. Furthermore, these verses also underscore the need for fathers to take their responsibility seriously to raise up godly and obedient children, especially the girls. God values fidelity and He will not tolerate slander and malice, especially in marriage. So let us honor God and stay virtuous as taught by His Word.