When
David heard of what Amnon had done to Tamar, he was very angry. Unfortunately,
to be angry was not enough, he should have taken some corrective actions. The
crime Amnon had committed cries out for justice to be done. And by not carrying
out what was needful for a father to do, he left many questions unanswered.
Where was David's sense of justice? Didn’t he pronounce death for the man who
had taken a poor man’s ewe lamb in Nathan’s story? Why didn’t he deal with the
matter more judiciously? Was not the evil deed committed by Amnon serious
enough to warrant a serious discipline? Let us postulate some reasons why he
was angry but remained reticent. Firstly, it could well be that Amnon was his
eldest son, the heir apparent and he loved him deeply. This could be substantiated
by his willingness to send Tamar to nurse Amnon, at his request. Secondly, he
might have felt guilty for being party to the crime because it would have been
avoided had he not so naively sent Tamar to Amnon. He could be blaming himself
for the crime that Amnon had committed. Thirdly, it could also be that his
recent sin with Bathsheba had left him a scar that made him reluctant to deal
with the present issue. Fourthly, it could also be that he remembered the
judgment pronounced by God through Nathan and felt he should just leave it to God.
Whatever it was, David had left justice undone.
Meanwhile,
Absalom, the blood brother of Tamar was devising a plot to deal with Amnon. Verse
22 tells us that he remained silent and did not speak a word either good or
bad. He was a shrewd man and he kept about the wrong done to the sister to
himself. Absalom was the still water runs deep type of character. He appeared
to be absorbing the damage done to the sister and enduring it. Nothing can be
more dangerous than a heart that is aggravated. We are told that he hated Amnon
for what he did to his sister. Perhaps had David dealt justly with Amnon, it
would have at least pacified Absalom. He did not do a thing, so Absalom’s hatred
for Amnon grew disproportionately.
From
these two verses, we can learn about fathering. David is a bad model for
fathers. What he had done and what he failed to do tells us that he was not so
adept at fathering. He should have understood Amnon's request for Tamar better.
The latter’s unusual request for Tamar should have caused him to smell a rat,
yet he was so unsuspecting. And when he heard of the wrong, he was only angry. It
was barely enough for such a heinous crime that demanded a serious discipline. It is
good for us here to consider how to be good parents. Here’s a belated Father’s
Day message. Firstly, a good father needs to understand his role in the family.
He is the head of the house and the strength of the home depends largely on his
godly leadership. To be a good model for his family, his relationship with God
will enable him to discharge his role more capably. Secondly, he must not be an absentee father but be the one
who takes on the key role in raising the family. This calls for his commitment
to be a key player in the children’s upbringing. A good father takes time to
know his children, seeking to help them discover their talents and giftings and
spending time to bring the best out of them. One final thing what a good father
should always do. He must conduct his life in such a way that he lives his life
consistently, learns about life continually, loves his family compassionately,
and leaves behind a legacy constantly. Remember everyone needs a good father!
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