Proverbs 23:19-21 – Dealing with indulgence

Proverbs 23:19-21 is a call to live a life of temperance. It comes as a caution from a father imploring a son to listen earnestly. In reading these verses, there is a sense of urgency in the plea for us not to be indulgent.   

Ours is a hedonistic culture. Food and wines and all sorts of pleasure are readily available in our affluent nation. We are assailed with commercials from the newspapers, magazines, television, radio, internet, billboards, flyers and etc, beseeching us to live an indulgent life. Their advertisements shout so loudly, and many billboards downtown appear so glaringly, beckoning us to be indulgent. The blitz of commercial has tempted many to a point where some find it almost impossible to resist a self-seeking, pleasure-seeking life. As believers, it is needful all the more to take heed to the admonition of verses 20-21. This is a call not to be over-indulgent in wine and food.

Occasional social drinking and dining can help to build relationship. But when we over-indulge till wine and food become a compulsion in life, we will soon become a wine-bibber and a glutton. Wisdom dictates that we should be temperate so that we will not lose control and live a careless, thoughtless life. For a person who loses control over his life and becomes over-indulgent, will soon squander away his resources and end up in poverty. We must not allow anything to draw us away from God, much less an over-indulgent life. For it is only the weak that must thrive on indulgence.

In Philippians 4:5, we are charged to let our temperance, forbearance or moderation be known to all men. Colossians 3:1-3 exhort us to “… seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. And to “…set our minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For we have died, and our life is hid with Christ in God.” 

Proverbs 23:12-18 – Why inculcate discipline?

The word discipline has different shades of meaning. It means the act of gaining self-mastery by enforcing control. It can also mean training that corrects attitude and behaviors. Discipline can also be applied to the task of molding godly and moral character. We all know that some appropriate punishments are also needed if we want to instill and inculcate lifelong discipline of the children we love.  

In six verses from Proverbs 23:12-18, we are given lessons on discipline. And verse 12 tells us that the place where discipline should start is the heart. We need to begin with the attitude of “want to” have discipline within us. When our heart has the desire to be disciplined, we are enabled to pursue it outwardly. We become more willing to hear the truth and then apply what we have heard to our life. Do take note that self-discipline is so important. It is like the muscles of our body. When we exercise them they become stronger. And when we neglect them, they will be weakened and even waste away.

Verses 13-14 show us that disciplining children is also important, especially when they are still young and pliant. Wise parents do not withhold correction from their children. We cannot expect them to grow up respecting self and others when we do not correct their waywardness. In disciplining our children, we need to deploy various methods depending on their receptivity. Many a time harsh measures need to be used. But we must remember that the goal of our discipline is to shape their will and not destroy their spirit. So, we use the rod wisely with moderation. But we must not be afraid to use them. The application of discipline may be painful but we will bring them toward the right path. We are in reality helping them to veer off the path of destruction.    

As children we must remember that when we are disciplined, we delight the hearts of our parents. Verses 15-16 can also be applied to our relationship with our spiritual leaders or parents. When we become receptive to their instructions and build godly discipline, we gladden our leader’s heart. Notice in verse 12, discipline begins in the heart. This is where discipline must begin. When we have the right inner attitude, we will pursue the right path. When the heart is willing, our ears are made ready to hear instruction, especially godly ones. Then from the hearing with the ears, verse 16 shows us that we will be empowered to speak rightly with our lips.

Verses 17-18 encourage us not to be envious of others, especially sinners. They may seem prosperous and better off now but they will have a very different end. The right discipline to have in life is the cultivation of the fear of the LORD.  Believers must make this their priority in life. For at the final accounting, every life will be reviewed. We will know then that being passionate for God far outweighs the riches of the world. When we remain steadfast to God and all His instructions, we will be enriched in this life and the life hereafter. So, heed Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:33, “…seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  

Proverbs 23:1-11 – Manners that can build or stifle relationship

All of us are formed at birth but deformed by sin. In school we are informed and in prison criminals are reformed. For us believers in Christ, daily we are being transformed. We are thankful that the Lord through His Spirit is changing us from glory to glory, progressively and incrementally. By the Spirit and the Written Word of God, He guides us in the transformation. He shows us a higher model of perspectives and manners we should adopt and also what we should discard.

The first three verses of Proverbs 23 encourage us to exercise good social graces in life. They reflect our personality and commend us to others. They can enhance our reputation or destroy our image before people. One social grace that we are advised to avoid is gluttony, especially when dinning with people of high stature. If self-restraint is not shown, one can incur the displeasure of our host. In addition, we need to be discerning when eating, some foods are offered with secret agendas. What this verse is telling us is to relate with others discerningly. There are meals that are offered with a sinister intention.    

Proverbs 23:4-5 counsel us not to be fixated with wealth. Making treasure and wealth the primary focus of life can be harmful. They often lead people to scheme and plot to acquire them. When one’s mind is focussed on wealth only, one’s whole life will be consumed in getting rich to the exclusion of other needful duties in life. These verses show us that wealth is transitory. They are never permanent. Why put our whole life and attention on something that can take wings and fly away?

While the previous two verses advise us not to be fixated with wealth, Proverbs 23:6-8 advise us to be cautious when dining with a person who is stingy. He may extend a cordial invitation but while you are dinning with him, he will be calculating the cost of his hospitality. His words and his heart may be incongruent. He may be asking you to eat but at the same time is worried about the cost the meal will incur. The realization of the host’s misery may cause the joy of dinning with such a person dissipate. And the compliments given to him may become vomit, meaning undigested food.

Proverbs 23:9 cautions us about discussing with foolish people. They can never appreciate wise counsel and one may be wasting time trying to explain the intricacies of a matter. Besides, a fool will not appreciate the wisdom, even if he could grasp the intention of the counsel.

Proverbs 23:10-11 return to the subject of covetousness, dealt with earlier in Proverbs 22:8. Intruding into boundaries not belonging to us is offensive. We must always respect what belong to others, especially those belonging to people who are incapable of defending themselves. The LORD is just and is a defender of the oppressed. He will be their vindicator and redeemer.

These verses bring us back to Romans 12:2. We must not conform to the standards of this world. We must change our perspective to those that God values. When we do that we will experience the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Seek to live with a transformed mind.  

Proverbs 22:22-29 – Four things to avoid in life

There is a saying that if you choose to sleep with dogs, you must expect to have some fleas. The dogs referred to are not those well-groomed pets but those stray dogs we see running in the wild. This is also true with habits we cultivate in life. If we don’t want a troublesome life we don’t want to invite anything that will bring trouble. When we cultivate good manners, we become attractive to others. But when we are uncouth and uncivilized we become repulsive. To be uncouth is to be depleted of refinement, good manners, cultivation or taste. In Proverbs 22:22-28 are four uncouth manners we are admonished not to cultivate in life.  

The first admonition found in Proverbs 22:22-23 is a call not to oppress the poor. One must never wrong the poor just because of his circumstances. The afflicted here refers to people who are defenceless because of their social status. The context of verse 22 is about the poor being taken advantage of, especially in court proceedings. The judge in this case could have been bought and would judge unfairly and oppress the poor. A just judge, of all people, should exercise godliness in his judgements, and not exploit the circumstance of the poor. The fallen tendency of man makes people take sides with the people well disposed. The reason why the poor should not be exploited is given in verse 23. It is because the LORD will be their advocate and defender. They will be divinely protected. The unjust judge will be dealt with severely. We must never be oppressive people, especially with people whose circumstances in life left them disadvantaged.  

The second admonition given in verses 24-25 is not to associate with aggressive and violent people.  People who are impetuous are usually impulsive, hasty and rash. They tend to act unthinkingly and become reckless in decision and action. Hence, they are easily snared in their souls. People who lack self-control are usually very quarrelsome, ending up in disastrous consequences. It is wise, therefore, to keep one’s distance from them to avoid picking up their harmful habit of aggression.  

The third admonition found in Proverbs 22: 26-27 is to avoid being a guarantor. It is unwise to undertake to write off someone else’s debt, especially when one does not have the means to do so. To be a guarantor in this circumstance is to lift a burden that one may not be able to fulfil and end up losing everything one has. The advice here is not to make one’s own bed too hard for oneself, or it will become difficult for that person himself to lie on it. To be a co-signee will not only encourage debt but nurture someone else’s bad habit. It is better, if we are able, to give to that person rather than help him incur a debt.

The fourth admonition given in Proverbs 22:28-29 is a call not to be covetous. People who are covetous can be enticed to act deceitfully. They have no qualm shifting the goal posts just to exploit others. A person who commits such an act commits a despicable crime. An honest man full of integrity will make room for himself to stand before great people. Their uprightness makes them appealing and attractive people to do business with.  Let us live out our life wisely. Abraham Lincoln puts it best when he said, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  

Proverbs 22:17-21 – The Word of God and believers

We live in an actively communicative world. Many voices are vying for our attention. Every day we have all kinds of messages hurled at us. We get them daily and weekly, at home, at work, at school, in church, and also in the world, in fact everywhere. They come through television, radio, newspapers, magazines, internet - Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and, etc. We are fed with all kinds of information, some are useful, some seductive, and many are needless. That’s why discernment is critical to a godly life. We need to be discerning and distinguish between those that we need and those that we must discard. There are many we need to walk away from and never to entertain them. There are those from the LORD that we need to pay attention so that we can draw closer to God, be guided into the right path and build great godly character to honour the LORD.

As people called into relationship with the LORD, we love Him dearly and want to pay attention to His voice of wisdom. And wise words always come from the LORD through His Word. There are stunts that we must adopt if we are to hear from Him, so that we can be built up in our spiritual stature. Proverbs 22:17-21 constitute a call to attentiveness. Verse 17 tells us to incline our ears and heart to hear His words. Our strongest passion in life is where our deepest desire stirs. When we truly love the Lord, we will have an inclination to hear what He wants to say to us. And in our over communicated world we can miss the voice of God if we lack attentiveness. To be attentive, we must not only hear with our ear, we must also keenly engage our mind in what we are hearing. In other words, we need to sift through all that we hear, analyse the supposition, question the assumption, go for the core and not the peripheral. It is the true knowledge of God that we must go for.

What are we to do with the Word of God? Verses 18-21 instruct us to take God’s Word seriously. We will find the experience pleasant when we apply and keep the principles of God’s Word. We need to keep the teaching within, meaning deep in the heart. And we must also be ready to profess it openly. They help us to live discreetly.

The Word, truly applied to life, will enable us to put our trust in the LORD. We will know how to stay confident in the LORD regardless of whatever may happen. Remember that our God is a personal God. He doesn’t just deal with us as a group, He often speaks to us as individuals. So we find the second part of verse 19 telling us that God’s Word can be a personal word to us. “…I have taught you today, even you.”  The word must be personally applied. And we must take heed to apply it immediately.

We believers of God are truly a privileged people. The whole counsel of God is now readily available to us in the Bible. In verse 20, we find a reference to the Written Word. The Bible is God’s written Word to us. We not only have Jesus the Living Word living in us, we have the Written Word to guide us, to give us counsel and provide true knowledge in the ways of God. There is a necessity to know the Word of God and to be deeply accustomed to it, so that we can be God’s reliable messenger. As His messengers to a lost world, our ability to communicate His truth accurately will show our competence as His ambassadors.     

Proverbs 22:13-16 – Hindrances to a trustworthy life

In six verses from Proverbs 22:7-12, we see what we need to do to build a credible, trustworthy life. This is important if we are to ensure meaningful relationship with others within and without the community of God. Since building credibility is unquestioningly important, we need to be aware of the hindrances that can block us from attaining it. So, in the next four verses of Proverbs 22:13-16, we are given four hindrances to avoid if we desire to have a trustworthy life.

Laziness, says Proverbs 22:13, is one of them. “The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets.” Humorously, the author taunts a lazy person.  A sluggard can invent the wildest joke imaginable just to avoid work. He gives a very fantastic and fanciful, if not pathetic excuse, why he is not found working. Lions are usually located in the wild but seldom in the town. Yet for the sake of avoiding getting to work, the sluggard will use the most ridiculous and laughable of excuses to remain lazy. He won’t even care about how ridiculous he may appear. This certainly will ruin his credibility as a person.

Lust is certainly another one. So, Proverbs 22:14 tells us never to fall for the ruse of an immoral woman. Such a woman will use enticing, seductive words to lure a man into an illicit tryst. The purity of sexual intimacy within the confine of a marriage must never be violated. A man breaks moral purity at the expanse of his credibility. The two words “deep pit” conjure an image of irreversible damage. To fall into such a predicament through wilful involvement is an indication of one’s affront to God, resulting in a curse.

Lacking discipline is the third hindrance to a trustworthy life. This is especially so when one is not guided and disciplined from young. So, Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” A child, unlike a discerning adult, doesn’t know any better. Hence, he has the tendency to indulge in mischief. In his or her stage of innocence, a child will have a strong self-will and hence the great possibility to drift waywardly into the wrong path. If at that stage, he or she is not disciplined and taught the right path, the child will grow up untrained in discerning between what’s right and what’s wrong. It is highly likely then that he or she will adopt the path of least resistance leading to the formation of wrong habits. Here, the Word of God advocates that proper discipline be enforced when a child is still young and malleable. Train a child while he is still trainable. Don’t wait till bad habits are formed.

Lacking equality in dealing with others is the fourth hindering factor to the cultivation of a trustworthy life. A partial person deals differently with people depending on their status in life. He exploits the poor for personal gain and curry favour with the rich, and often to his own peril. So, verse 16 decries such a behaviour saying, “He who oppresses the poor to make more for himself or give to the rich, will only come to poverty.” He oppresses the poor and bribe the rich. Such biasness and inequality will bring a bad reputation to a person, making him untrustworthy.

Trustworthiness must be built through being faithful in the little things in life. Jesus’ conclusion to the parable of the unrighteous steward in Like 16:10 is this, “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.” The Lord assures us that when we remain faithful in the little things in life, we will become faithful in much. The opposite is also true. If we are not faithful in the little things of life, overtime we will be unfaithful in the big things as well. Take heed to the Lord’s words. Be faithful!

Proverbs 22:7-12 – Building a credible life

It is true that trust takes a lifetime to build, just a second to break, and forever to repair. Meaningful relationships in life are maintained by trust. And there can be no trust when there is no trustworthiness. So here in Proverbs 22:7-12, we are given some tips on how to build a trustworthy, credible life.  

One area that we need to be vigilant if we are to build a credible life is in the way we view money and wealth. The fact of life is that there are more poor people than there are rich. Hence, this verse depicts the rich in singular and the poor in plural. Wealth lends power to the rich. Whereas poverty diminishes a person to a life of servitude. People lose their freedom to live as they ought when they lean on the financial assistance of another. It is obviously clear that we should have a decent job and then be diligent and honest to earn our keeps. That will ensure that we are not made slavery to poverty. We must exercise godly stewardship of our wealth.  

While wealth bestows power to someone, it can also cause one to use it to suppress others. Verse 8 is a warning to the rich not to abuse their power. They are not to brandish and abuse their power to suppress the poor or their subordinates. Such a person need to know that he is accountable for any of his cruel deeds. This verse implies that the LORD will thwart all cruelty. What is not obviously stated here, James 5:3-4 made it obvious. He said, “Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed your fields, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth.” One who practices cruelty will be dealt with severely. Proverbs 22:9 then gives an invitation to be generous. This is another factor that contribute to a credible life. It says, “He who is generous will be blessed, for he gives some of his food to the poor.” We can never be poorer when we give to others, especially the poor and needy. Remember, we are told earlier that “he who gives to the poor lends to the Lord.” God blesses one who is generous now in his lifetime and also ultimately, in eternity.   

Proverbs 22:10 tells us our credibility also will be ruined by those we run with. If we run with the skunk, we will smell like the skunk. So here we are advised not to emulate the scoffers, people who are depleted of sound moral and godly conscience. Such kind of people have no respect for others, not even God. They are always the cause of contention and disquiet. For our own sake and the sake of the community, we must be careful who we mix with, and the influence we are getting.   

Proverbs 22: 11 gives us another key to build credibility. It is to be sincere. And sincerity is easily detected from his speech. “The purity of heart” here speaks of sincerity. When one has sincerity, the natural outcome is that he will speak honestly. Flattery and insincere speech are noxious and can be quickly detected. They are clear reflection of duplicity. Speech has a way to reveal our character. A sincere person has the habit of expressing honestly. He becomes winsome to everyone. This verse tells us that everyone wants such a friend and even kings would befriend a sincere person.

Proverbs 22:12 exhorts us to be God-centred if we are to have a credible life. This is the surest way to maintain credibility. When we are conscious of God and want to please Him in every way, we say and act with Him in mind. We will not want to do anything that will discredit His name and dishonour Him. It is true that God watches over us. Second Chronicles 16:9a says, “For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.”  God will not honor those who are false and treacherous and will not express the truth. Their intention will be thwarted. So, let us be honest, but more importantly be God-conscious!