1 Peter 3:1-7 – Christian behavior between husband and wife

Having dealt with Christians and their relationships with government and bosses, Peter now turned to deal with behaviors between husbands and wives. He began the discussion of wives’ behavior toward their husbands, especially non-believing ones. It appears as if he was lopsided in his discussion, using only one verse for the husband and six verses for the wives. Peter had his reason. When a wife became a believer, her potential problems in the marriage would be much greater than when a husband became a believer. This was so because in the first place, the husband was already in charge of the home. Therefore, Peter wrote a little more to encourage the wives.

The phrase “In the same way …” brings us back to all that Peter had said so far. Whether it was to God, governmental authority, or employers, the call was one of an attitude of submission. Here again in relationship to their husbands, he urged the wives to adopt an attitude of submission. The reason he gave was so that their non-believing husbands might be won to the Lord because of their chaste and respectful behavior.   

In verses 3-4, Peter wanted them to place more emphasis on cultivating their inner spirit rather than being primarily concerned about outward appearance. Perhaps the NASB has captured the essence by inserting the word “merely” in verse 3. Here, Peter was not renouncing the proper adornment. He was admonishing them to have right priority that would please God. Peter told the wives to pursue inner virtue that would be far more precious in God’s sight.

In verses 5-6, Peter gave an illustration implying that women of the Old Testament who placed their hope in God put on the spirit of submission. He then used Sarah as the point of reference. She was a model for all believers to emulate. Her submission to Abraham was demonstrated by the way she responded to Him. Sarah’s obedience was evidenced by the gentle spirit and servitude in addressing Abraham. By following Sarah’s example, believers would be known as her children and by implication also Abraham’s children. Peter probably knew that what he was asking could be intimidating to the wives. So in verse 6, he sought to assure them by telling them not to be intimidated but just do what is right and submit even to unbelieving husbands. 

In verse 7, he turned to address the husbands. He told the husbands that likewise they should have the attitude of submission. This submission, however, was not to one as a leader or authority but to the needs of the wives. He was advocating that husbands should be sensitive to the wives’ needs and feelings. Not only that, but also to consider that they belong to the weaker but not inferior sex. Here, we see two other reasons to treat wives gently. Firstly, they together with the husbands were joint-heirs to the grace of God. Secondly, by treating them with consideration, the prayer of the husbands would not be hindered.

As believers in the Lord, when these admonitions are adhered to, we will definitely become better witnesses. All of us, whether wives or husbands, should seek to live God honoring lives. We will not be short changed when we live these injunctions outlined by Peter. May God be magnified in our marital relationship!