Paul now turns
to relationships in the home. From Ephesians 5:22 to 6:9 we see him dealing
with three pairs of relationship: wives and husbands, children and parents and
servants and masters. To the husbands, parents and masters, Paul gave instructions
on how they should lead and love; and to the wives, children and servants how
they should follow and obey.
In verses 22-33,
Paul then instructs wives and husbands on how their roles should be fulfilled. The
way a husband and wife live out their roles would be a reflection of the
relationship Christ has with His church. Just as a wife submits to her husband so
also must the church submit to the Lordship of Christ. And just as Christ loves
the church, so also must husbands love, care and protect their wives. And as the
church and Christ are one so also are a husband and a wife one in Christ. These verses also suggest to us that due to
our fallen tendencies, malfunction in roles had resulted. But now in Christ order
should be restored. It begins with the Christian homes.
The apostle
first dealt with the role of wives. The key part of the wives’ role is submission
to their husbands, in the way they would submit to the Lord. Why? It’s because
a husband is the divinely appointed head of the relationship and is expected to
care and protect his wife. If this instruction is not obeyed, there will be
confusion and disorder in the home. Paul even specified that she should submit not
just in some of the things but in everything. Of course submission does not
suggest that a wife must allow herself to be trampled upon by her husband, but
that she acknowledges the divine order of man’s appointed headship, and lovingly
supports it. This we know a wife would do when her husband duly fulfills his role
to love as Christ does.
In verses 25-31,
Paul then turned to discuss the role of husbands. They were told to love their
wives the way Christ loves the Church. The love for their wives is benchmarked
on the sacrificial love that Christ has shown for the church by dying for her. Christ’s
love is so complete. He first died to cleanse her, then He continues to sanctify
her so that she will be a spotless bride to Himself, one who is free from all blemishes.
In the same way, a husband must love his wife as he loves his own body. He must care, cherish and nourish his wife in
the same way that he would care for his own body, for husband and wife are one.
God’s intention
is that the wife and husband function as one, for they are intricately bound. They
have left their parents and are now glued together to be one flesh. So they
must function and play their parts individually to reflect that oneness. Ill-treatment
of one’s spouse must not be tolerated for it is a clear reflection that one has
not fully understood the divine order. To all husbands, let us love our wives
as Christ loves the church. To the wives, remember to obey your husbands and
support their leadership.
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