2 Samuel 19:1-8 – Handling grief

On hearing the news of his son’s death, nothing could equal David’s grief that day. He could not be consoled and was heard bawling uncontrollably in his chamber. Joab was notified of the king’s grief. And the day of victory quickly soon turned into a day of gloom. What would have been an occasion of celebration became a day of mourning for the people. The king’s continuous agony soon set off a disquiet among his people. Words spread quickly among his fighting men that David was grieving for his dead son. Instead of marching confidently home with their heads held high in victory, his men had to creep home surreptitiously and stealthily as if they had been humiliated in a great defeat. Meanwhile, covering his face, David was heard crying out aloud, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!” His emotion had gotten the better of him.

Joab could sense that if something was not done quickly, the morale of the people would soon be eroded. If there was anyone more suitable for the unpleasant job of alerting the king to save the situation, it had to be Joab. He boldly came to David and gave his appraisal of the situation. He was forthright in telling the king what would happen if he continued to wallow in his despair. Joab’s approach though disrespectful was needful. It was difficult to get the king out of his despondency any other way. Joab audaciously told him that the way he was behaving would make the people feel as if they had done something wrong. He told the king that his emotion was misplaced. Pointing to the king that in his grief, his reaction was signaling to the people that he seemed to love those who hated him, and he hated those who loved him. Joab was speaking sense to David. In telling the king that “for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased” he jostled the king out of his doldrums. Boldly, Joab told the king, “Now, therefore, arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the Lord, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” What he did appear to have elbowed the king into action. So the latter went out and sat at the city gate and his supporters came and gathered around him.  

David’s experience tells us that it is possible for a person to be overtaken by grief to a point of being incapable of making sound decisions. He was so overwhelmed by his anguish that he was not able to consider the feelings of people who had acted in his interest. Grieving can be a very self-absorbing experience. No one outside of that grieving person can fully understand the depth of the person’s pain. It is comforting to know that Jesus is available in our grief. We can be assured that He understands us perfectly. He knows our thoughts and feelings, for He can be touched by our weaknesses. In sorrow always remember to take it to the Lord in prayer. He is ever ready to embrace us in His loving arms!