Colossians 3:18-21 - Healthy family relationships

The place that Christians need to display conduct worthy of Christ the most, should be our family living. That’s the reason the New Testament writings deal with such relationships in several places. Since most families comprise of husbands, wives and children, Paul dealt with two units of relationship: husbands/wives and parents and children in Colossians 3:18-21.

 

In verses 18-19, Paul first called on the wives to be subject to their own husbands. This is a call for wives to be submissive to their own husbands. Submission is an attitude. The wives should do it because this is how God had ordained the order for the wife-husband relationship. God in His wisdom had instituted it this way. Hence it is appropriate and best. Husbands, on the other hand, are called to love their own wives. Husbands must make expressing love toward their wives a constant and consistent practice. “Do not embittered…” is a command put in a negative way. By putting the command this way, husbands are not to resent their wives, become impatient and harsh with them. Paul’s instruction to husbands implies that they are to act considerately towards their wives. Let’s remember that strong homes are built where mutual respect are shown between husbands and wives. Homes will become strong social structures when biblical commands such as these are followed by husbands and wives.
  

In dealing with parents/children relationship in verses 20-21, the apostle first calls on children to be obedient to their parents, as this is well pleasing to the Lord. As long as children have living parents, God expects them to show obedience. If we carefully analyze verse 21, we will realize that it is a call for absolute and complete obedience in all respect and under all circumstances. Paul was saying that God would be pleased when children are found to be in complete obedience to their parents in all areas of their lives. This works on the premise that Christian parents must be godly. But here we also see the fathers particularly being singled out. They were told not to exasperate their children so that they will not be discouraged.
 

What is the meaning of exasperate? Simply put, to exasperate is to provoke to the point of anger. Fathers can exasperate their children by making excessive and illogical demands. Where fathers have shown consideration and understanding, children have found it easier to respond to their encouragements. Hence, Christian fathers should make it their regular business never to dishearten their children but to provide encouraging atmosphere for their growth. 
 

What ought we to do as a wife, a husband, a father or a mother or a child? Here we are given some clear biblical imperatives. Let us be sure to submit, love, obey and never to exasperate as appropriate! All these have to do with our emotional quotient in family living. Be sure to make God’s glory our prime objective in life and these attitudes will not be a chore but a delight!