Still on Judas Iscariot, Jesus was
deeply troubled just thinking about him. We will never know what drove Judas to
do what he did. But one thing we do know is that the Lord loved him even though
He was aware of what he was going to do. Hence it is understandable that the
Lord should be troubled. Reflecting on these verses we can only see the love of
the Lord reaching out to someone, even though He knew of his wicked intention. They
were still at the upper room and locked in deep moment of fellowship. He had
just given the instruction to serve each other. He had also warned them of
troubled times ahead to prepare them. He was literally telling them to stay faithful
and focused. He encouraged them that whoever would receive them would actually
be receiving Him and the Father.
Reflect on this declaration of the Lord,
“Truly, truly,
I say to you, that one of you will betray Me.” It’s sobering
just to think about it. What was Judas thinking? Here Jesus’ voice must have
given hint to how He felt. John said He was deeply troubled in spirit before He
made known what was troubling Him. His emotion were obvious and His disciples
could see it. But they were unaware that it was because of Judas. Can we see
the heart of the Master? Just a few hours away from the cross, yet He was
concerned not for Himself but for someone who was going to betray Him. The
disciples understood the deep troubled heart behind His expression but they did
not know who He was referring to. So they were shocked. Just think of this: The Lord knew exactly what
Judas was going to do, yet He did not point him out. None in the room knew the
betrayer was Judas. It tells us how tightly Jesus guarded him. Had He just made
known that Judas was going to betray Him, we can’t imagine what the rest would
do to him. Why did the Lord not point him out? It’s because He was reaching out
to him. He still did not reject him. Jesus was giving him the opportunity to
respond to His love.
Remember when He was
washing their feet, He said to Peter, “He who has bathed needs only to wash his
feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.” He was hinting to Judas that He knew what he
intended to do. He was appealing to him. Just imagine the Lord now washing
Judas’ feet still with deep love for him, only to be met with a conscienceless expression
from him. And if we look at the sitting arrangement at the table, we can see
that Judas was sitting closest to Jesus, in a place of honor. Peter who was seated
further away signaled to John, who was closer to Jesus, to check with the
Master concerning who the betrayer would be. Even when Jesus passed the morsel to
Judas, the disciples still couldn’t tell that he was the betrayer. Why? Jesus
wasn’t pointing him out, He was reaching out to him in love. His emotion did
not show it. Hence the disciples concluded that He was only serving Judas. However,
immediately on receiving the morsel Jesus passed to him, he was completely overtaken
by Satan. Even when the Lord released him to execute Satan’s bidding, He didn’t
reveal what Judas was going to do. Everyone thought that Jesus was sending him
to do something because he was the treasurer. There was complete darkness in his
heart, a heart that did not care about the morning. So dark was his heart that John
in verse 30 concluded “…and it was night.”
Judas must take the responsibility
for what he did. He acted on his own. Jesus had tried to reach out to him in so
many kind and loving ways. But He had rejected every overture of Jesus’ radical
love and grace. To respond to Jesus’ love and to love Him in return is an
intensely personal thing. We alone know whether we truly love Jesus or not. It
is something we cannot deceive ourselves. We can put on a show to deceive others
but we can never deceive ourselves. Have we truly loved Jesus? We alone know
the answer best.